John Scalzi, author of "Old Man's War," wrote a post on his blog which pretty much sums up exactly my thoughts on gifts, and which I will post here to refer friends and family to as well...
"Another in my series of “post once, refer people to later” entries, this time on gift giving:
For a number of years, I’ve told people who have been thinking of getting me something for Christmas or whatever holiday excuse they have for gift giving that I’d simply prefer they not get me anything at all. The reaction to this often ranges from confusion (i.e., how can you not want gifts?) to exasperation that my insincere “no, no, you don’t have to get me anything…” ways just means they will have to be extra crafty in getting me a gift, since I’m not helping them by hinting at what I want. This is when people ask my wife what I want, and she tells them that I told her years ago to stop getting me Christmas gifts. At which point I suspect their heads explode.
So, honest and truly: If you’ve ever thought about getting me a Christmas/holiday gift, stop now. The best thing you can get me (with one small exception, to be detailed below) is nothing. And no, it’s not because I’m an agnostic and/or communist and/or have environmental concerns and/or had the “seasonal joy” sections of my brain removed as a child. The reasons are somewhat more mundane than that, and I’ll be happy to detail them to you now.
1. When I really want something, I buy it. Because why wouldn’t I? I want it, and can generally afford to buy it, and I’m not patient enough to hint to other people that I want it and hope they get it for me. It helps that most things I want aren’t hugely expensive; even so. What this means for everyone else, however, is that all the really obvious stuff to get me is taken off the table, because I’ve already gone out and gotten it. Done and done. What’s left then is a whole bunch of stuff I don’t really want, and I don’t see why people should feel obliged to buy me something I don’t really want, just because it’s the holidays.
Well, you say, surely there are some things you want that you don’t have. The answer: No, not really. The things I want that I don’t have fall into two categories: Things that money can’t buy (happiness, world peace, a spousally-sanctioned hotel room romp with Julie Delpy and Kate Winslet, in which Julie and Kate, you know, actually show up and are in a romptastic frame of mind), and things that are a multiple of my average monthly income, a category at the moment which currently has only one object of desire in it: the 2008 Bullitt Mustang (Warning: the first one of you jerks who whines about wanting a car with a solid rear axle is going to get such a smack). Pretty much everything else that I want, I already own.
Now, to be clear, if you want to buy me the 2008 Bullitt Mustang for Christmas, I won’t stop you, although I’d probably ask you if you don’t have better things to do with that $32,000, like your retirement account or your kids’ college fund (if you can arrange the spousally-sanctioned Delpy-Winslet romp, you are a master of time-space manipulation, not unlike Dr. Who, and you really shouldn’t be wasting your time with trivialities like my own increasingly middle-aged perversions). But let’s just say I would be surprised if anyone actually likes me that much. Short of the Bullitt Mustang, though, you can basically assume that if you think I would want it, I probably own it.
Which brings us rather handily to the second reason I don’t want holiday gifts:
2. I have too much crap already. Because, you know, even most of the stuff I want I don’t really need, and once I’m done playing with it, it just takes up space. Right now my office looks like a bookstore exploded in it, and then an electronics store was dropped on it to smother the flames. This is a good thing, in my opinion (my wife is somewhat less enthusiastic about it), but it reinforces the point that I don’t really need more stuff, especially when, as noted above, it’s likely to be stuff I’m indifferent about in any event.
3. I don’t like people feeling obliged to get me stuff. This is actually a big one for me. One, of course, I don’t pick friends on the basis of who is liable to produce gifts on holidays and special occasions. Second, it’s money more profitably spent on people who want something in particular, or (if you’re in this frame of mind) to a charity, or just kept in their own pocket. Third, well, you know. The holidays are stressful enough without me adding to the stress. Why would I want to stress out my friends and family? I’d like them to think “Oh, Scalzi. Don’t have to get him anything. Wow, that was simple.” See, a ray of sunshine in their lives, I’ll be.
Actually, in the real world, it doesn’t always work out that way; some family were stressed about getting me something every year, but they were even more stressed when I said I didn’t want anything — because it’s not natural to give people nothing, especially if they’re family. People like to give other people stuff. It doesn’t help that we buy gifts for friends and family — my not wanting to get gifts is not rooted in cheapness — so people feel like they should reciprocate. But eventually it gets sorted out.
But this does bring up a secondary point, which is that I sometimes will send holiday gifts to people, just because I feel like it. If you get one, don’t feel you have to reciprocate. I’m not sitting there with a clipboard, checking off the people who have hurriedly run out to Target to get me a bauble because I sent them a CD or whatever. Relax, folks; it’s not the way I work.
4. Because I know some people won’t listen to or believe me: Now, after all of this, let’s say you still really feel like you want to/have to get me something for the holidays. Go right ahead. I don’t think anyone should feel obliged to get me anything, but I’m certainly not going to have the poor grace not to accept a gift and to appreciate the spirit of giving behind it. Because that would just make me a dick.
That said, here’s a suggestion: I’d rather have, say, a mix CD of your favorite songs, or a picture that you took that you think is especially artful, or a goofy drawing, or whatever, than just about anything you could buy in a store. Because I have enough stuff I can buy, and can get stuff I can buy easily enough; there’s an almost infinite number of ways to buy crap in our society. What I can’t get in any store — pretty much by definition — is something that’s personal. So that’s what I’d much rather prefer to get. A mix cd or a picture or whatever doesn’t cost much of anything — just the time to make and the cost of wrapping paper — but it’s worth rather more to me, because it’s not something I can buy, and because I know it’s not something that could come from anyone else.
If you haven’t the time to craft something, and decide to get something from a store, then have it be something you’d want to share: Music you really love, a book that spoke to you, a movie you can’t live without. You know what I’m talking about. Send it with a note telling me why that particular book, CD, or DVD matters to you. I love all those things, anyway, and knowing it’s one of your favorites will make it something I’ll pay extra attention to (if it’s a book/cd/movie you were involved in the production of in some way, that’s even better).
If you can’t do that, just get me something goofy. I just got a bacon wallet, for example; that was cool.
No matter what, if you’re spending more than $50 on a gift for me, you’re doing it wrong. Start over. Cheaper. Unless, of course, you’re getting me the Bullitt Mustang. In which case, spend all you like.
But when all is said and done, what’s important to me is not the gift, but the impulse behind it, which is the true gift. I’m glad you’re thinking of me. I’d be glad of it even without the bauble. That’s a hint."
I'm travelling for business, so you can follow my quick travel notes over on my jaiku page.
I gotta say....I started using Google Docs with this new resurgence of writing I've started, and boy does it rock!
Being able to log into my novel from any machine is truly awesome.
Google's word processor has come a long way since I first tried it (I'm sure the purchase of Writely helped).
Google's going to take over my life if I don't watch out...
I read this great story on Lifehacker that inspired me:
Editor: When software developer Brad Isaac told us he had productivity advice from Jerry Seinfeld, we couldn't turn down the chance to hear more. Read on for the whole story from Brad.
Years ago when Seinfeld was a new television show, Jerry Seinfeld was still a touring comic. At the time, I was hanging around clubs doing open mic nights and trying to learn the ropes. One night I was in the club where Seinfeld was working, and before he went on stage, I saw my chance. I had to ask Seinfeld if he had any tips for a young comic. What he told me was something that would benefit me a lifetime...He said the way to be a better comic was to create better jokes and the way to create better jokes was to write every day. But his advice was better than that. He had a gem of a leverage technique he used on himself and you can use it to motivate yourself - even when you don't feel like it.
He then revealed a unique calendar system he was using to pressure himself to write.
Here's how it worked.
He told me to get a big wall calendar that has a whole year on one page and hang it on a prominent wall. The next step was to get a big red magic marker.
He said for each day that I do my task of writing, I get to put a big red X over that day. "After a few days you'll have a chain. Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day. You'll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job next is to not break the chain."
"Don't break the chain." He said again for emphasis.
Over the years I've used his technique in many different areas. I've used it for exercise, to learn programming, to learn network administration, to build successful websites and build successful businesses.
It works because it isn't the one-shot pushes that get us where we want to go, it is the consistent daily action that builds extraordinary outcomes. You may have heard "inch by inch anything's a cinch." Inch by inch does work if you can move an inch every day.
Daily action builds habits. It gives you practice and will make you an expert in a short time. If you don't break the chain, you'll start to spot opportunities you otherwise wouldn't. Small improvements accumulate into large improvements rapidly because daily action provides "compounding interest."
Skipping one day makes it easier to skip the next.
I've often said I'd rather have someone who will take action - even if small - every day as opposed to someone who swings hard once or twice a week. Seinfeld understands that daily action yields greater benefits than sitting down and trying to knock out 1000 jokes in one day.
Think for a moment about what action would make the most profound impact on your life if you worked it every day. That is the action I recommend you put on your Seinfeld calendar. Start today and earn your big red X. And from here on out...
Don't break the chain!
Luckily, someone created an online calendar for this very thing, so it's time for me to get to writing and finish my novel!
Alrighty, here's some geeky unboxing photos for ya. Yes, it's a low-end XPS, but I don't have a gazillion dollars to spend on those pimped higher end machines...
Now I'm off to play!
I'll take some pics of the guts as soon as I open 'er up - the whole case is screwless, which is sweet!
The Dell I ordered for my birthday has arrived - and boy is she shiny, cap'n!
As soon as I can get these darn pictures off my camera I'll post the geeky unboxing.
Well, it appears that the Blogger-bot has decided that, for whatever reason, my tech blog is a spam blog. I received this nice little email the other day:
Dear Blogger user,
This is a message from the Blogger Team. In order to maintain a free, high quality service, we use an automated classifier to identify spam blogs. [1]
This system has detected that your blog has characteristics that resemble spam. Since you're an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and we sincerely apologize for this erroneous result.
You won't be able to publish posts to your blog until we review your site and verify that it is not a spam blog. To request a review, please fill out the form found here:
http://www.blogger.com/unlock-blog.g?blogID=24369875
We'll take a look at your blog and unlock it in less than four business days. Please note, if we don't hear from you, we will remove your blog within 20 days.
If the blog at http://1337g33k.blogspot.com/ does not belong to you, then no action is necessary on your part. Any other blogs you may have will not be affected.
By using automated classification systems we've been able to dedicate more storage, bandwidth, and engineering resources to users like you instead of spammers. Thanks for your understanding.
Sincerely,
The Blogger Team
4 business days!??!!?!? I filled out the form immediately and still have not heard back from anyone, and my site is still locked down. Needless to say, I'm moving the tech blog. Trust me, I understand the spam fight, but couldn't you have someone look at the blog first, before shutting the site down for 4 days? Sheesh.
Those that read it, head on over to http://1337g33k.wordpress.com/ . Once Blogger deigns to let me blog again, I'll put a notice on the old site that the blog has moved.
Clever modders have made a skin for pocket pc devices, and apple is already trying to shut them down....so in celebration of that, here's mine:
Here is my initial screen on my Dell. I'm using Wisbar 2 and Wisbar desktop to achieve this, thanks to amazing Wisbar skinners. The "slide to unlock" button actually works (altho it doesn't animate like apple's true iphone), and pressing it leads to the next screen....
So there, I'm satiated until June. Don't ask me to link to the skin here...I don't need any Apple take-down notices in the future, thanks. Google around, they're pretty easy to find.
I am speechless. Go check my tech blog for pics and such...
Apple should be posting the keynote video later today. MAKE SURE YOU WATCH IT!!
The iTV is pretty cool too, but the iPhone, OH how I desire thee....
Merlin posted this great drinking game for tomorrow, he he:
MWSF Drinking Game 2007
Originally uploaded by World Leader Pretend1.
Recent Comments
-
-
-
-
Wordslinger said:
There was actually a lot of drinking during this one, lol. And we ALMOST had to slit our wrists! So... read more
on Macworld Drinking Game
Google Earth, Gmail, Google Docs, Google's new 3D CAD program, and Google buying YouTube..... Yah, its a definite! Google's going... read more
on Google Docs